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No. 5 Hamilton PJace, Boston, Massachusetts 



Twelve Old Maids 

An Entertainment in One Act 



By 
WALTER BEN HARE 

Author of "Aaron Boggs, Freshman,''' "Abbu San of Old Japan" "Ani- 
ta's Secret" "A Bird in the Hand" "The Boy Scouts," "The Boy Who 
Hated Grammar," "Bride and Groom," "Civil Service" "A College 
To7vn," "Christmas with the Mulligans" "A Christmas Carol" 
"The Camp Fire Girls," "A Couple of Million" "Deacon Dubbs" 
"Doctor Funnibone's Hospital," "The Dutch Detective", "The 
Fascinators" "And Home Came Ted" "Her Christmas Hal," 
"The Hoodoo," "The Heiress Hunters," "Isosceles" 
"Kicked Out of College ;" "Laughing Water" "Little 
Miss Lonesome," "Macbeth a la Mode ""Mrs. Tubbs 
of Shanty town" "Much Ado About Betty" "Aft 
Old-Fashioned Mother," "A Pageant of His- 
tory" "Professor Fepp," "Parlor Matches" 
"A Poor Married Man" "A Rustic Ro- 
meo," " Rose o' my Heart" "A Southern 
Cinderella," "Sewing for the Hea- 
then," "Savageland," "A Temper- 
ance Victory" "Teddy" "The 
Wishing Man" " The White 
Christmas" etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1918 



P535JST 

Rib 

Twelve Old Maids 



CHARACTERS 

Mrs. Beamer, a schemer. Takes summer boarders 

Liza Pearl, her hired girl. Not so slow. 

Madam Zikeller, a fortune-teller. After the coin. 

Miss Lizzie Lidy, awfully tidy. ■ 

Selina Zook, an A i cook. 

Matilda Finn, who s rather thin. 

Jemima Routt, a little stout. 

Ethel McVVade, a poetical maid. 

Mary Ann Fites, who wants her rights. 

Mandy Menter, from Punkin Center. 

Miss Kate O'Foss, who loves to boss. 

Lovetta McCann, who wants a ?nan. 

Cerinthy Fling, does nothing but sing. 

Lucindv Toots, who elocutes. 

Eliza Neff, just slightly deaf 

The Mystic Orann, a wooden man. Who comes to life. 

Place. — Parlor of the Dew Drop Inn, Mrs. Beamer's summer 
hotel. 

Time. — A summer afternoon. 

Time of Playing. — One hour (or longer, if additional special- 
ties are introduced). 



Members of 
The Old Maids 
Union, 
W. W. A.M., No. 23. 




Copyright, 191 8, by Walter Ben Hare 

As author and proprietor 

All rights ?-eserved 

Qan 50043 



JUL 25 1918 



COSTUMES 

Mrs. Beamer. Rather plump. Loud voice. Calico 
dress, large gingham apron, neat dust cap on head. 
Powdered hair. 

Liza. Aged eighteen. On first entrance she wears 
clumsy boy's shoes, striped stockings, rather short calico 
dress longer behind than in front, ill-fitting apron. Hair 
in wired pigtails standing curved out behind, and combed 
straight back in front. Walk slowly and pigeon-toed. 
On last entrance she wears a beautiful white dress and 
hat and wig of yellow curls. White shoes and stockings. 
Face made up at last entrance. 

Madam. Long very full skirt of flowered muslin. 
Full underskirts. Waist of contrasting color. Large 
strings of colored beads. Black hair and black rings 
painted around eyes. Face powdered light brown. Yel- 
low or red handkerchief on head. Or a fancy gypsy 
costume will do. 

Lizzie. Neat black dress, white collars and cuffs. 
Large spectacles. Powdered hair combed straight back. 
No colors or " trimmings." 

Selina. Old-time colored dress. Large white apron. 
Cook's cap. 

Matilda. Striped dress, fitting very tight. Hair 
powdered and done high on head with tall feather in top. 
Reticule. Black mitts. Red ribbons. 

Jemima. Bright flowered old-time dress. Corkscrew 
curls. Fan. Wears many artificial flowers, knots of 
lace, jewelry, etc. 

Ethel. Tall girl with corkscrew curls. Very languid 
at all times. Feather fan. Small bows of orange cam- 
bric all over costume. 

Mary Ann. Dark skirt, man's shirt, vest and coat. 
Man's hat. Loud voice. 

Mandy. Similar to Liza's first costume, but of con- 
trasting colors. White handkerchief folded and pinned 
with safety-pin on front of dress. 

3 



Kate. Similar to Jemima. 

Cerintiiy. Old-fashioned costume. Large " flower- 
garden " hat. Reticule. 

Lovetta. Similar to Matilda. Carries a small arti- 
ficial poodle. 

Lucindy. Elaborate ball gown, a burlesque on latest 
fashion. Exaggerated head-dress. 

Eliza. Large ear trumpet. Costume similar to 
Jemima's. Walk with limp. 

Orann. A boy of fourteen or fifteen. Clown cos- 
tume. White skullcap fitting close all over head. Face 
painted white with red circles, like a clown's. White 
cotton gloves, much too large, stuffed out with cotton. 
Very large shoes. This part requires much rehearsing 
to walk like a mechanical dummy. 



NOTE 



The box for Orann should be made from light boards 
and about the size of a big clock-case. It should be lined 
with black cloth, and have front curtains of similar 
material. 



Twelve Old Maids 



SCENE. — Any platform, with screens at the sides. No 
front curtain is necessary. Twelve camp chairs at 
rear. 

Enter Mrs. Beamer from l. She wears an old-fashioned 
summer house dress and has gray (or powdered) 
hair, apron, etc. 

Mrs. Beamer. Liza! (Calls loud and prolonged.) 
Liza ! Where are you ? (To audience. ) That gal Liza 
Pearl will be the death of me yet. I've had hired gals of 
all sorts, shapes, sizes and descriptions, fat, thin, tall, 
short, black, white, yellow, brown and green, but Liza 
Pearl's the laziest, no-accountest gal I ever had in my 
hotel, and I've been in the business for twenty years. 
(Calls.) Liza! (Much louder.) Liza! (Stands at r.) 

Enter Liza Pearl from l., very slow, yawning and 
■dragging the broom behind her. She comes down c. 

Liza. Was you a-callin' me, Mis' Beamer ? 

Mrs. B. Was I ? I've been yellin' my lungs out of 
my head fer the past half hour. Callin' you ? I hollered 
so loud that I ain't got a holler left in me. 

Liza. I thought I heerd sump'm, but I wasn't sure. 

Mrs. B. Sleeping again, I suppose. 

Liza. No'm, I wasn't sleepin', I was jest a-ponderin', 
that's all, Mis' Beamer, jest a-ponderin'. 

Mrs. B. Have you got the up-stairs rooms all did? 

Liza. Yes'm, after a fashion. 

Mrs. B. Supper cookin' on the stove? 

Liza. After a fashion. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Mrs. B. Got the spare room fixed for the fortune- 
teller? 

Liza. Oh, Mis' Beamer, is she a sure-enough fortune- 
teller? 

Mrs. B. I reckon she is. I'm payin' her four dollars 
a day and givin' her room and board fer nothin'. 

Liza. Oh, I'd jest adore to have my future told. I'm 
jest crazy to know how many husbands I'm goin' to have. 

Mrs. B. Well, you ain't the only one. Here I've got 
twelve old maids fer summer boarders and every last 
one of 'em is jest as crazy as you. 

Liza. I had my fortune told once and she said I was 
goin' to cross the water within a year and marry a noble- 
man on bended knee, but it didn't come true. 

Mrs. B. The celebrated Madam Zikeller don't promise 
you foolish things like that. She don't jest set around 
and tell you that you're going to be married, she tells 
you how to go about it. 

Liza. She does? That's jest what I'm looking for. 

Mrs. B. She never fails. The Ladies' Aid Society 
of the Baptist Church hired her last year and in less than 
two months thirteen of them old maids were leading 
innocent and unsuspecting young men to the halter. 

Liza. My lands! When's she coming? I want to 
get the first whack at her. 

Mrs. B. She'll be in as soon as the train comes. I 
sent Jake over to the depot to meet her. 

Liza. If she can fix up the bunch of ladies we've got 
here in this house so as they kin get husbands or beaux, 
she's a lulu. 

Mrs. B. Here, here, Liza Pearl, don't be comparing 
her to the birds of the air and don't talk so much. 

Liza. We've got twelve, of 'em here and by rights 
each and every one of 'em should have give up hoping 
fifteen years ago. My, but won't they be mad if the 
plan don't work? They're awful cranky. 

Mrs. B. Don't 'I know it? First there's Miss Lizzie 
Lidy, who's awfully tidy. 

Liza. She's always rubbing her finger along the fur- 
niture to see if it's been dusted; and every morning she 
sweeps the ceiling of her room with a dust cloth. That 
woman's so tidy it makes me ticklish. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS J 

Mrs. B. And Selina Zook, an A I cook. 

Liza. Always pokin' her nose in the kitchen. She 
made some baked beans last week and I had to feed 'em 
to the cat — and we ain't seen the poor critter since. 

Mrs. B. Matilda Finn. 

Liza. She's rather thin. 

Mrs. B. Jemima Routt. 

Liza. A little stout. 

Mrs. B. And Ethel McWade, the poetical maid. 

Liza. She wrote some lovely poetry last week. I 
found it in her room. It said, 

I wonder where my loved one is ? 

I hear him calling now ! 

In accents wild and plaintive like 

Mrs. B. Like a calf a-callin' her cow ! 

Liza. Then there's Mary Ann Fites who wants her 
rights. 

Mrs. B. And Mandy Menter from Punkin Center. 

Liza. And Kate O'Foss who loves to boss. 

Mrs. B. Lovetta McCann who wants a man. 

Liza. Cerinthy Fling, she does nothing but sing. 

Mrs. B. Lucindy Toots, she elocutes. 

Liza. And old Miss Neff who's awful deaf. Twelve 
of 'em and every last one a pore old maid ! 

Mrs. B. Hush, here they come now! 

Liza. All of 'em? 

Mrs. B. The whole bunch. You come with me and 
help clean up the parlor. (Crosses to l.) 

Liza. But I cleaned the parlor last month. 

Mrs. B. If you don't get a hustle on you and clean 
that parlor right away, Liza Pearl, you shan't have a 
word to say to Madam Zikeller, the fortune-teller. 

Liza (hurries to her). I'm all ready. I'll clean that 
parlor and make it shine. 

Mrs. B. Then hurry up. [Exit, l. 

Liza. I'm comin'. (Follows slowly.) Jest lemme 

have the first whack at that fortune-teller, that's all I 

. ask. [Exit, l. 

(Music: A march. "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Boys are Marching," played in strict tempo. Enter 
from R., the twelve old maids, marching in single 
file. They execute a short fancy march and then 
line up across the stage at front, facing the audience 
and sing. ) 

IN A PRISON CELL WE SIT 

(Sung by the twelve old maids to the tune of " Tramp, 
Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching," " War 
Songs," — Price, 60 cents.) 

In a prison cell we sit, 
Or at least it's just the same, 
For there's not a single man around the place ; 
We are little maidens shy 
And I'm sure each one would say 
r She's a beauty," if you couldn't see her face. 

March, march, march, the men are marching, 
Marching by us every day, 

And each one has got a plan 

How she's going to catch a man — 
And when we do, we'll each of us be gay. 

(They repeat the chorus, marching around in a circle. 
Then Selina stands at c. and the others form back 
of her.) 

Selina (sings). 

If you want to catch a man, 

Let me tell you of my plan, 
You must learn to cook, and always dress so neat, 

You must boil and bake and brew, 

You must fricassee and stew, 
For there's not a man alive who doesn't eat. 

All (sing chorus). 

Cook, cook, cook, the men are marching, 

We must cook and dress so neat, 

We must boil and bake and brew, 

We must fricassee and stew, 
For there's not a man alive who doesn't eat. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 9 

Cerinthy {takes c. and sings). 

When the moon is shining bright, 

On a balmy summer's night, 
Get a hammock where the river gently flows, 

Play a light guitar and sing, 

Of the love-light and the spring, 
And it's ten to one the feller will propose. 

All (sing chorus). 

Sing, sing, sing, the men are marching, 

Where the river gently flows, 

We will catch a man and sing, 

Of the love-light and the spring, 
And it's ten to one the feller will propose. 

All (at front, sing directly to persons in audience, 
pointing at them\. 

Here we are, twelve little maids, 

All of different styles and shades, 
And we want a man, we do ! to beat the band, 

Now, you feller in that chair, 

Or you dandies over there, 
If we've made a hit with you, just raise your hand. 

Boys, boys, boys, don't be so bashful, 
Here we are, so sweet and grand, 

Oh, you mustn't be afraid 

Of a tiny little maid — 
If we've made a hit with you, just raise your hand. 

Kate (drags a stool out to right front of the stage and 
sits on it facing the others, who sit at rear facing front). 
Now, girls, we'll come to order, please. The members 
of the Old Maids' Union, No. 23, W. W. A. M., are now 
in session. First we will rise and give the hailing sign. 
(All rise, extend arms beseechingly, then draw them up 
and each hugs herself.) Miss Lizzie Lidy, are you a 
member of the Old Maids' Union ? 

Lizzie. I am. 

Kate. Give me the mystic letters. 

Lizzie. W. W. A. M. 

Kate. Have these letters a meaning? 

Lizzie. They have* 



10 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Kate. Is it an important meaning? 

Lizzie. Well, I should say it is. 

Kate. All repeat the mystic letters. 

All (cross hands on breasts and look up). W. W. 
A. M. 

Kate. And the meaning? 

All (same business). We want a man! 

Kate. Very good. Be seated. Each one of you was 
appointed as a Lookout Committee of one.' Selina Zook, 
what have you to report? 

Selina (rises, gives hailing sign, which is answered 
by same sign from Kate). Miss President, I have a 

very important report to make. Mr. (insert name 

of prominent bachelor church member) was seen at serv- 
ice last Sunday with two buttons missing from his coat, 
his hat undusted and his necktie on crooked. I told him 
he needed a wife to look after him and he admitted the 
fact. 

All. He admitted the fact? Good work, Selina. 

Kate. Did he offer to escort you home or tell you 
that he would like to call on you? 

Selina. Nope, he never said another word. But at 
the church supper last year he ate four pieces of the cake 
I made and he knows that I'm a wonderful cook, so I 
still have hopes. (Resumes her seat.) 

Kate. Matilda Finn! 

Matilda (rises, gives sign). Miss President, I've had 

my eye on Lawyer for the past year, but he don't 

seem to give me any encouragement. I'm going to his 
office some day and tell him I want some advice, then 
I'll ask him if it's proper for a young girl like me to pro- 
pose to a man. Maybe that'll wake him up. 

Kate. That's good, Matilda. Remember, faint heart 
never won a bashful lawyer. Jemima Routt ! 

Jemima (rises). I'm a disappointed woman and my 
heart is breaking all on account of the perfidy of man. 

Kate. Unfold your woes into the ears of your sympa- 
thetic sisters, Jemima. 

Jemima. I was sitting in the park last Tuesday even- 
ing in the twilight and (insert local name of 

bachelor) came over and sit down beside me. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS II 

Others. He did? Haw romantical! 

Jemima. But jest as soon as he got a look at my face 
he up and went away and I ain't seen him since. Some 
men is too particular to live. (Sits.) 

Kate. Ethel McWade! 

Ethel. I wrote some lovely poetry and sent it to 

. And he came to call on me. (Sensation by all.) 

He stayed two hours and I recited all my love poems to 
him, but he got scared and left and he never came back. 

Kate. Write him another poem. And make it extra 
strong. Mary Ann Fites ! 

Mary Ann (rises). I want a man who'll let me be 

the boss. I've got my eye on and I'm going to 

propose to him next leap year or know the reason why. 
If he refuses me, I'll sue him for a breach of promise. 

I know my rights and I'm going to have them ana 

is one of my rights. 

Kate. Mandy Menter from Punkin Center! 

Mandy (giggles, then rises, salutes and giggles). Oh, 
Miss President, I ain't used to city ways and I ain't got 
ary a man (giggles) ; the men all seem afraid of me, 
though I can't say why. I'm sure I'm harmless enough, 
ain't I? (Giggles.) There's a young feller lives here, 

his name is . He always smiles when he looks at 

me and I giggle right back at him. If he ever proposes 
I'll just have to say yes, because he's got such beautiful 
hair and his nose ! oh, girls, did you ever notice his nose ? 
(Giggles.) Ain't I the silly .little thing? (Sits.) 

Kate. Miss Lovetta McCann ! 

Lovetta (rises and salutes). Sisters, I have been ex- 
ceedingly busy since our last meeting and here is my 
result. (Pidls out a paper from reticule.) I have here 
a list of the ten most eligible bachelors and widowers in 
town. You'd better make notes, girls, and then get busy. 

(Reads list of local bachelors, others making com- 
ments, " He's just grand," " Such a handsome man," 
" He certainly does need a wife, he looks so peaked" 
etc. Lovetta then sits down and the others applaud. ) 

Kate. Cerinthy Fling! 

Cerinthy (rises and salutes). Miss President, a 



12 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

friend of mine had an awful experience in this town. 
She was a singer, too, just like me, and her story has 
touched my heart. Listen ! 

{She comes forward and sings, or recites to musical 
accompaniment. ) 

SING, KATE, SING 

Miss Katie O'Shane was a plain looking dame, 

Who sang what is known as soprano, 
She hadn't a chance any man to entrance 

Unless she was at the piano. 
She'd passed thirty-four, and a little bit more, 

And when a young man came to call, 
Her father and mother would nudge one another, 
And whisper to Kate in the hall : 

Sing, Kate, sing! 
Sing about lovers and love in the spring, 

Sing, Kate, sing; 
Don't let him go till he buys you a ring. 
Won't you please sing — something — 
You're thirty-five in the spring. 
Get a gait on you, Kate, 
Or you'll wait till too late, 
Sing, Kate, sing! 

When Kate had a beau she would turn the lights low, 

And start in to beat the piano, 
And when she would sing about love in the spring, 

He'd say, " What a lovely soprano ! " 
Her voice was so loud there would soon be a crowd 

Of neighbors outside the gate, 
And when she'd begin every one would start in 

And shout through the windows at Kate: 

{Repeat chorus.) 

One day they told Kate it was getting so late, 
To grab the first man she could find. 

So she looked around till one day she found 
A man who was totally blind. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 1 3 

She had him dead right, but he got back his sight, 
And then as he flew through the gate, 

A poll parrot next door, who had heard her before, 
In sympathy sang unto Kate : 

{Repeat chorus and resume seat.) 

(Note: The music to this song may be secured from 
Jerome H. Remick and Co., Music Publishers, De- 
troit, Mich., or from the publishers, — Price, 50 cts.) 

Kate. Eliza Neff ! (Eliza does not hear her.) Eliza 
Neff! 

(Girls shake Eliza, who rises and salutes.) 

Eliza. Was you speaking to me ? 

Kate. Yes, what have you to report? 

Eliza (hand back of ear). Hay? 

Kate. Have you a report? (Louder.) A report! 
Report ! 

Eliza. Court? No, there ain't no one been to court 
as fur as I know. 

Kate. Didn't you meet a man on the train? 

Eliza. Hay ? 

Kate. I said didn't you meet a man on the train? 
(Screams.) The train ! . 

Eliza. Rain ? No, I reckon not. There ain't a cloud 
in the sky. 

Kate. I said didn't you meet a man ? Meet ! Meet ! 

Eliza. Feet? (Angrily.) I guess my feet's jest as 
good as anybody's. (Sits down.) I never seen such a 
woman ! 

Kate. Lucindy Toots! 

Lucindy (rises and salutes). Miss President, I re- 
gret to say that I have nothing to report. You see, I 
really live in the past — I just dream and dream and dream. 
Of course if any real nice man came along I might quit 
my dreamin' and agree to settle down. But when I was 
young I had so many experiences with men that it's kind 
of shook my faith in the animals. 

Kate. Suppose you tell us about some of your past 
experiences. 



14 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Lucindy (comes to front, faces audience and recites). 

A POOR OLD MAID 

(By Walter Ben Hare) 

When I was a young and foolish girl 

My pa had lots of money, 
And I had beaux who flocked around 

As thick as bees for honey. 
. An English nobleman came first 

With an eye-glass in one eye — 
He sighed and groaned, you'd think the man 

Was just about to die. 



an English swell, open mouth, languid man- 
ner, etc.) 

Aw, ah, my dear Miss Lucinda, bah Jove I'm glad to 
see you this morning. Looking awfully fit, you are. 
Perfectly ripping, you are, bah Jove. I'd like to take 
you for a little spin in my English motor, what ! I'll make 
all the other Johnnies jealous, with you by my side, I will, 
bah Jove. Do you think you could learn to love a per- 
fectly devoted Englishman? You do? Bah Jove, you 
make me the happiest of men. You do, really. (Calmly.) 
I'm on fire, don't you know, positively excited. 

I told him I would be his bride, 

Along came Julia Burr — 
Her father was a millionaire; 

My lord eloped with her. 
My next, a slim young poet 

From sunny Italy 
Begged me to be his bonnie bride 

And fly across the sea. 

(Imitate an Italian; draw up the face, stoop over and 
speak with many gestures, etc.) 

Ah, Mees-a Lucinda, venever I take-a de good look 
at-a you eet make-a my heart jump pitty-pat, pitty-pat, 
so loud you no can-a hear the clock. You be my leetla 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 15 

bride and fly away weeth me to sunny Italy, we spend-a 
de mon just like-a da sand and all-a day live on roses, 
sunshine and keeses. Ah, come-a with me, Mees-a 
Luanda, fly weeth me like-a da bird, fly like-a eagle, 
like-a da chicken, like-a da mosquito, only fly and make-a 
me one verra, verra happy man. 

At last I told him I would fly, 

But e'er the wedding came 
The police arrested him for debt — 

It was a burning shame. 
To cure my broken heart they sent 

Me to a western state, 
And there I met a cowboy bold, 

Who wished to share my fate. 

(Imitate a cozvboy, shoulders thrown back, speak loudly 
and with a deep voice.) 

Whoa, thar, gal, whoa ! It's Buckskin Pete a-speakin' 
to you and when old Buckskin Pete speaks all the birds of 
the air stop to listen, the ki-otes start to run and the eagle 
soars aloft. I ain't got no city manners, gal, but I got 
a heart what's good and true and I don't mind tellin' you 
that you've got me so's I'll eat grass outer yer hand. 
You got me corralled and roped and flung to m' knees, 
gal — and that's a-goin' some. If you'll jest say the word 
I'll haul you on behind my pony and we'll gallop over 
the burnin' prairies to some sky pilot and you and me'll 
hit the honeymoon trail. Speak up, gal, are you game? 
(Pause.) You air? Then, slip her there, kid, slip her 
there ! 

The wedding day was set, alas, 

I bought my wedding clothes, 
But one day riding on the range 

He fell and broke his nose ! 
It spoiled his beauty. I returned 

Back to the east again, 
Met Tony Lee from New Orleans, 

The handsomest of men. 

(Imitate the southern drawl.) 



1 6 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Miss Lucinda, honey, if you'll consent to marry me 
you certainly will make me the happiest of men. We-all 
down in New Orleans generally reckon ouah ladies to 
be the most wonderful ladies in all the world, but you 
certainly have made a great impression on me, Miss 
Lucinda, and I reckon they cain't blame me for my choice. 
Of course, I'm not thinkin' of youah money, honey, we 
could live on love down in New Orleans, but I reckon 
it'll come in mighty handy. 

Alas, alas, for cruel fate 

Parted my love from me — 
My father said he cut me off 

And Tony went to sea. 
The next was banker William Wade, 

A man of fifty-two, 
He said if I would be his bride 

He'd evermore be true. 

(Imitate large, fat old man.) 

Lucindy, gal, I don't offer you no boy's love — (kneels), 
I offer you a man's devotion. I've had experience with 
women, havin' been married three times already and I 
know how to make a gal happy. I pick my wives jest 
like I pick my cattle, f er' working ability instead of looks. 
Will you have me? (Rises.) 

One day I asked to see his home, 

It was a foolish whim — 
I found that he had thirteen sons, 

That was the last of him. 
But there were others, five or six, 

They left me in the shade. (Sobs.) 
And here I am at forty-two, 

A hopeless, poor old maid ! 

(She weeps sadly as they lead her to her seat.) 

Kate. Miss Lizzie Lidy ! 

Lizzie (rises and salutes). My story is the saddest 
one of all. I had a beau, sisters, and he was a lovely 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 1 7 

man. He used to call on me twice a week fer pretty 
nigh onto ten years. Just as I thought he was gittin' up 
enough sand to propose along came a widder to town 
and the deceitful man married the widder in less'n four 
days. So I propose a new war-cry, Down with Widders ! 
All (rise and shake fists). Down with widders ! 

Enter Mrs. Beamer from l. 

Mrs. B. Ladies, excuse me for interrupting you at 
your meeting, but I have good news for you. 

All (gather around her at a). Good news? What 
is it? 

Mrs. B. A fortune-teller is coming to-day. 

All. A fortune-teller? 

Mandy. Oh, that ain't nothin'. I've had "my fortune 
told and it ain't never come true yet. 

Matilda. I went to a fortune-teller at home last year 
and she said my face was my fortune. No wonder I'm 
broke. 

Mrs. B. But this fortune-teller is a marvel; she not 
only tells you what's going to happen, but she tells you 
how to bring it about. 

All. She does? Oh, girls! 

Kate. Will she tell us how to get a husband? 

Mrs. B. Certainly she will. That is her specialty. 

• Enter Liza from l. 

Liza. Oh, Mis' Beamer, the fortune-teller's done 
come. 

Mrs. B. Bring her right in. 

Liza. And she's got a great big box with her, weighs 
about a thousand tons. Do you reckon it's full of gold ? 

Mrs. B. Don't keep us in suspense ; show her in. 

Liza. Yes'm, I'm a-goin'. Remember, I'm to get the 
first whack at her. [Exit, l. 

Lovetta. Oh, girls, I'm so excited! Suppose she 
tells me that I'm going to be married. 

Selina. Yes, and suppose she tells you that you 
ain't. That 'ud be worse. 

Enter Liza from l. 



1 8 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Liza. She's here. Madam Zikeller, the fortune- 
teller. 

Enter Madam Zikeller from l. 

Madam. Ladies, I greet you. The mystic Madam 
Zikeller greets you. (To Liza.) Girl, bring in my 
satchel. 

Liza. Yes'm. In a minute. [Exit, l., hurriedly. 

Madam.. This evening I will give each of you a half 
hour in which I will reveal your past and present. 

Mary Ann. We aren't interested in our past and 
present ; what we want to know is our future. 

Madam. And you shall know. I make a specialty 
of futures. Then with the aid of the Mystic Orann I 
will give you each some advice. 

Eliza. What's she a-talking about? 

Lucindy (shouts at her). She's going to give us 
some advice — advice. 

Eliza. The pore thing ! She orter use turpentime. 

Lovetta. And what is the Mystic Orann? 

Madam. He is my assistant. My little man. 

All. A man ! She's got a little man. 

Madam. But he's a man of wood. 

All (disappointed). Of wood! 

Jemima. Then he ain't a live man? 

Madam. No, he's just a wooden dummy. 

Enter Liza with small grip. She puts it on floor and 

jumps over it. 

Mrs. B. Liza, what are you doing? 

Liza. I'm jest gittin' over the grip. 

Madam. Now a small table. 

Mrs. B. Liza, a small table ! 

Liza. Seems like I'm doin' all the work. 

Madam. And tell the men to bring in the Mystic 
Orann. 

Liza. Yes'm, but remember I get the first whack. 

[Exit, l. 

Madam (opens grip). I have here a bottle of Guay- 
mas, a magical potion brewed in the light of the moon. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS IQ, 

Simply moisten the face with a weak solution of Guaymas 
and you will be beautiful for life. 

Enter Liza with small table. Puts it down near left 
front. 

Liza. There's your table. {Two men carry in box 
containing Orann, who is hidden by curtain. They place 
it at rear, standing up. The men exit at l.) And there's 
your Mystic Orann. 

Madam (puts bottle from grip on table). This bottle 
contains the magical potion known as Everbloom. A 
few drops applied on your faces will make you young and 
beautiful for life. 

All. Oh ! 

Madam. Now, show me to my room. I must rest 
and meditate before I begin my work. Liza, see that 
no one disturbs my bottles. 

Liza. Yes'm. I'll see to it myself. 

Mrs. B. Step right this way, Madam. Here is your 
room. 

(Leads her off at l. The Old Maids form a group 
dozvn r., chattering. Liza stands by table at l. ) 

Liza. I spent my last cent for a white dress and hat 
but I certainly have got to try that there Everbloom. 
(When the others are not looking she takes bottle.) I 
sure want to be young and beautiful for life. [Exit, l. 

Lucindy. Oh, girls, see this? (Goes to box.) 

Lizzie. I'm going to see what's in it. 

(Goes toward it.) 

Kate. You'd better look out; maybe it's a snake. 
I've heard of fortune-tellers who charmed snakes. * 
Matilda. Nonsense, I'm not afraid. 

(Raises curtains, disclosing Orann, posed as a 
mannikin. ) 

Jemima. Oh, what a funny little man ! 
Mandy. Massy sakes, he's all made of wood. 
Lovetta. Wouldn't he make a lovely husband? 



20 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Mary Ann. All a wife would have to do to manage 
her husband would be to press the button. 

Kate. Lots of wives run their husbands without 
pressing any buttons. 

Eliza (at rear, l.). Just think how nice it would be, 
girls, if we could buy a husband like this. 

Lucindy (at right front). I'd take two or three. 

Lizzie (beside her). And if they weren't satis- 
factory, we could take them back and change them for 
new ones. 

Matilda (at l. of box, examining Orann). Girls, 
he's all made of wood and iron. 

Jemima (at r. of box), -li he'd go in the.ocean he'd 
rust. 

Mandy. Well, I wouldn't have no rusty husband! 

Matilda (reading directions on box). If you want 
him to kiss you, all you have to do is to press the button. 

Lovetta (rushes up to Orann, pushing girls aside). 
Show me that button, show me that button ! 

Jemima (reading directions). And here's a hug 
button! 

Others (together). A hug button? 

Jemima. Three of them. One horse power, two 
horse power and three horse power. 

Matilda (showing big clock key). And here's the 
key to wind him up. 

All. Oh, let's try it. Let's wind him up. 

(Gather around the box.) 
Enter Mrs. Beamer from l. 

Mrs. B. Girls ! Young ladies ! 

Others (all group at r.). Oh, we were just looking 
at the dummy. 

•Mrs. B. The fortune-teller don't want no one to 
monkey with that box and besides dinner is ready. 

Others. Dinner ? 

Mrs. B. Yes, I'm getting high-toned since Madam 
Zikeller arrived. Now I've gotta call my supper dinner. 

Ethel. A rose by any other name would smell as 
sweet, dear Mrs. Beamer. 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS • 21 

Mrs. B. We're clean out of roses, but we got some 
good fried onions. Maybe they'll smell as sweet, too. 
Come on in; it's all on the table. 

(Exit l., followed by all chatting loudly; Lucindy 
lingers behind.) 

Lucindy. I've lost my appetite and I'm just crazy 
to take one more look at the little man. Ain't he the 
cutest thing? (Lifts him from box.) It brings sun- 
shine just to look at him. I wonder where the key is. 
(Holds him up with one hand and searches for key with 
other.) Here it is. Now, where do I wind him? 
(Tries end of his nose.) I can't find where to wind him 
up. Where are the instructions? (Tries to get them; 
Orann starts to fall; she catches him.) No, you don't. 
Oh, here's the place to wind. (Winds him back of his 
neck; noise back of scenes as if a clock were being 
wound; use a wooden twirling toy rattle.) He doesn't 
move. It's a humbug. (Releases him.) Go on and 
fall, I don't care. (Orann stands erect, yawns, rubs 
eyes, looks at audience; slowly turns to Lucindy; smiles.) 
Oh ! He's moving. How do you do? (Orann smiles.) 
Can't you talk? (Orann shakes head sadly.) Can't 
you even feel? (Orann shakes head; Lucindy em- 
braces him.) Oh, Orann! 

(Orann mechanically puts her other arm around him.) 

Enter Ethel from l. 

Ethel. Say, Mis' Beamer says (Sees them.) 

My land of liberty ! 

(Screams and runs out at l. Lucindy screams, puts 
Orann in box and runs out at l.) 

Enter Madam, from l., after a slight pause. 

Madam. I must see if Orann is all right. (Opens 
curtains.) Yes, just as natural as life. But he is not 
in his usual position. Those old maids have wound him 
up. Come, Orann, march out ! (He marches stiffly to 
front, hands moving mechanically.) Isn't he perfectly 
wonderful? Maybe I could sell him to one of the old 



22 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

maids. He'd be such a gentle husband. Orann, would 
you like to marry one of the old maids? (Orann shakes 
head in negation, first slowly, then more rapidly, then 
very fast.) They evidently haven't made a hit with 
Orann. But how would you like to marry a nice young 

girl like ? {Insert local name. Orann nods 

head, claps hands mechanically, first slowly then rapidly.) 
And now let me see you march. (Orann marches across 
front of stage, raising legs high and holding himself 
rigid.) Very good. Now for the gymnastics. {Counts.) 
One, two, three! (Orann performs simple arm gym- 
nastics, then leg gymnastics while she counts; finally he 
" runs down " with one arm and one leg up.) Goodness, 
what's the matter? He's run down. {Winds him up 
again.) Now, back to your box, Orann. 

{She walks him to box and drops curtains.) 

Enter Lizzie, Lovetta and Ethel from l. 

Lizzie. We hurried through in order to have you tell 
us our fates. I'm Miss Lizzie Lidy. 

Madam. Who's naturally tidy. Let me look at your 
hand. {Takes her right hand.) Ah, Ha ! I see a happy 
future. 

Lizzie. You do? Where is it? {Looks at palm.) 

Madam. I see a trip on the ocean, plenty of money, 
a nice home and a handsome husband. 

Ethel. All for fifty cents? My, ain't that cheap? 

Lizzie. Oh, I think you're simply wonderful. 

LoveTta. I wonder if she can see a husband in my 
hand. You see / have a prospect. 

Madam {looking at her hand). I see a lovely maiden 
all alone pining for companionship. A beautiful young 
maid. 

Lovetta {very excited). Yes, that's me. Go on, 
what else do you see? 

Madam. Every happiness and comfort is hers and 
yet she longs. She longs for I know not what. 

Lovetta {looking at her palm). She longs for a man. 
That's what she longs for. 

Madam. Ah, ha ! 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 23 

Lovetta. What do you mean by ah, ha ? 

Madam. I see the love line ! 

Lovetta. You do? 

Madam. Yes, but it's crossed and crossed and crossed. 

Lovetta. That's not crosses; that's a little speck of 
dirt. 

Madam. Now I see the man. {Looks at her.) There 
is a man, isn't there? 

Lovetta. Well, I should emphatically articulate 
there is ! 

Madam. I see his devotion, I see his presents. Yes, 
I see plenty of presents. 

Lovetta. Yes, I know— but do you see a proposal? 
That's what I'm interested in. 

Madam. I do, I do ! And I see a church, a 
great big church, and flowers, and bridesmaids and the 
preacher 

Lovetta. But do you see the bridegroom? That's 
the most important part. 

Madam. Yes, this little thick line is the bridegroom. 

Lovetta. Oh, girls, I'm going to have a little thick 
bridegroom! (Goes to rear with Lizzie.) That's the 
finest fortune I ever had told. 

Ethel (comes forward). The last time I delved into 
the mysteries of the future the spirits came and rapped 
on the table. Oh, they told me wonderful things. I 
asked it if I would ever be united in the holy wedlocks 
of matrimony and it rapped three times. 

Madam. You would have the spirits answer your 
call? Behold, then, the mystic cabinet. 

(Points to box at rear.) 

Ethel. Oh, Madam Zikeller, is that a spirit cabinet? 
Madam. It is ; it's full of spirits. 
Lizzie, Oh, Lovetta, I'm afraid ! (At rear L.) 
Madam (at right front with Ethel). No cause- for 
alarm. 

Lovetta. But I don't believe in spirits. 

• (With Lizzie.) 



24 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Madam. One trial will convince you. (To Ethel.) 
Now, ask the spirits your questions. 
. Ethel. Well, am I ever going to get married? 

(Orann, concealed in box, raps once.) 

Madam. That means no. 

Ethel. Oh, alas, alack! Woe is me, woe is me! 

(Orann raps twice.) 

Madam. Three raps; that means yes. 

Ethel. Be still, my little fluttering heart, be still ! 

Lovetta (to Lizzie). Ain't it jest wonderful? 

Lizzie. I'm scared to death. This room is haunted. 

Ethel. I have a friend, Mr. (insert local 

name). Is he the man? (Orann raps three times.) 
He is! Oh, girls, what do you think of that? Ain't it 
romantic ? 

Madam. What else would you ask? 

Ethel. Does he care for any other girl? 

(Orann raps three times.) 

Madam. He does. 

Ethel. How many girls does Mr. (insert 

same name) love? (Orann raps ten times.) Stop it, 
stop it ; it isn't true. But he loves me the best of all, 
doesn't he? (Orann raps three times.) He does! I 
knew he did. Now tell me is it best for me to marry 
him? (Orann bounces box and shakes curtains.) What 
do they mean by that? 

Madam. Uncertainty. The spirits do not know. 
You alone can answer that question. 

Ethel. Then my answer is yes. Oh, Mr. — , 

just say the word and I'm yours now and evermore until 
death do us part ! 

Lizzie. Here come the other girls. 

(Music, " Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are March- 
ing," " War Songs," — Price, 60 cents. Enter from 
l., Selina, Matilda, Jemima, Mary Ann, Mandy, 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 25 

Kate, Cerinthy, Lucindy and Eliza marching. 
Ethel, Lizzie and Lovetta join in and they march 
around the stage singing.) 

March, march, march, the men are marching, 

Marching by us every day, 
But each one has got a plan, 
How she's going to catch a man — 

And when we do we'll each of us be gay. 

(Repeat this.) 

Madam (at left front, the others in a line at r. facing 
her). Now, ladies, I mean to let you try my famous 
Everbloom remedy. Just rub a little on your face and 
hair and you will be surprised at the wonderful result. 
It will make each of you ten years younger. 

Matilda. But if it makes me ten years younger I'll 
be a mere child toddling around in pinafores. 

Madam. Here is the bottle. (Looks for it.) It is 
gone! My Everbloom has disappeared. 

Others. Disappeared? 

Madam. Some one has stolen my Everbloom. Has 
any one seen it? (Looks at them.) No, I can see that 
none of you have used a drop. It doesn't show in your 
faces. 

Enter Mrs. B. from l. 

Mrs. B. (calling). Liza, Liza! Where on earth has 
that girl got to now? Has any one seen Liza Pearl? 

Madam. Has any one seen my Everbloom? 

Mrs. B. Have you lost something? 

Madam. My wonderful bottle of Everbloom is miss- 
ing. It is a magical potion guaranteed to make any 
woman the loveliest of her sex. 

Mrs. B. That looks suspicious. Liza Pearl and the 
bottle both missing. I'll bet a doughnut that when we 
find one we'll find the other. 

Madam. Then let us search everywhere. Come, let 
us find Liza Pearl. I'll make her give up the bottle of 
Everbloom and you shall all be turned into famous 
beauties. 

Mary Ann. I don't think all the Everbloom on earth 
could make me a famous beauty. Girls, I don't believe 



26 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

in beauty cures. Men don't want famous beauties for 
wives. I have a better scheme than that. 

All. What is it? 

Lovetta. Speak, Mary Ann, don't keep us in sus- 
penders. 

Mary Ann. We'll force the men to propose. 

Others. Force them? 

Lizzie. How you going to do it? 

Mary Ann. We'll organize an army and demand our 
rights. We'll take the men by storm. Forward, girls, 
and this be our battle-cry to the old bachelors, Marriage 
or Death ! I'll lead you. 

All. Hurrah ! 

Mary Ann. Then forward to the fray. Company, 
attention! {They line up like soldiers.) Right, dress! 
Left, face! (They all face to the l. in single file.) 
Forward, march ! ( They march out at l. to music. ) 

(Pause; the music changes to a dreamy waltz. Liza 
enters from l., completely changed. She wears a 
beautiful costume and hat and a wig of long yellow 
curls. Her facial make-up is changed from a 
grotesque servant to a beautiful young girl. She 
carries the bottle of Everbloom.) 

Liza. Oh, I just wish I could get another look at 
myself in the looking glass. I put on my new dress and 
hat and rubbed that Everbloom on my face and hair 
and — look at the result ! I just took a little stroll down 

to the post-office to show off my fine fixings when 

(insert local name) saw me and actually proposed to me. 
He asked me, Would I ? And I told him I would ! So 
we're going to be married in the spring. Then I bor- 
rowed five dollars from him to pay the fortune-teller for 
the Everbloom. I wonder where everybody is ! Nobody 
here, so I'll just take a look at the mystic box. Maybe 
that's where she keeps some more Everbloom. (Opens 
curtains, showing Orann posed rigidly.) Oh, it's a doll, 
a funny little wooden doll. Doesn't he look too sweet for 
anything? I wonder if some Everbloom would improve 
his looks. (Empties bottle on Orann ; he starts to move 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 27 

mechanically, then walks down c.) Oh, look what I've 
done! The Everbloom is bringing him to life. (Runs 
to table at l.) Here's a bottle of something else. (Pre- 
tends to pour it on Orann. Orann raises right arm up 
and dozvn by jerks.) It's wonderful, it must be magic. 
(Pours more on him. Orann begins to stretch arms 
naturally, yawns, twists mouth, etc. Note: Take plenty 
of time for this, Liza watching him breathlessly.) Oh, 
I've brought him to life, I've brought him to life ! 

Orann (mechanically turns and looks at her). What — 
are — you? (Speaking like a mechanical doll.) 

Liza. What am I ? Oh, he can actually talk ! ( To 
Orann.) You mean who am I, don't you? 

Orann (speaking as before). No, I mean what kind 
of a thing are you? 

Liza. The idea ! Why, I'm a girl. 

Orann (speaking a little more naturally). You're a 
funny looking girl. 

Liza. I am not. I'm a beautiful girl. I'm lots more 
beautifuller than the other girls. 

Orann. Other girls? Are there other girls? 

Liza. Why, certainly. Haven't you ever seen any 
other girls? 

Orann. I don't think so. I've never seen anything 
else at all. Only you. And you are as beautiful as a 
dream. 

Liza. You've got lots of good sense for a doll. I 
think you've been playing a trick on us. You're a young 
man. How old are you ? 

Orann. I was only born a moment ago. 

Liza. My, but you've aged rapidly. And you think 
I am beautiful ? 

Orann. Think? I can't think. 

Liza. .Why not? 

Orann. I haven't any brains. 

Liza. No brains? Why, how will you ever make a 
living without brains? 

Orann. Maybe I can be a college professor, or teach 
in the high school. 

Liza. Why, of course. I never thought of that 
But haven't you any brains at all ? 



28 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Orann. Nothing but a handful of cotton and some 
cloth to cover it. 

Liza. But you can walk. 

Orann (walks). I'm taking steps to learn. 

Liza. Haven't you any relatives? 

Orann. I don't think so. I guess I'm related to a 
log of wood and have a blockhead for a brother. 

(Music heard.) 

Liza (looks out at l.). Oh, see — all the old maids 
are marching this way. Now, I suppose you'll leave 
me for them. 

Orann (looks at l.). For them? Never! 111 never 
leave you. I'll be your little boy. 

Liza. But what will folks say? 

Orann. I'll tell them I was just born a few minutes 
ago. 

Liza. They wouldn't believe you. Here, you'd better 
go back to your box again. 

Orann. But I want to march with you. 

Liza. No, no. Back to your box. (Puts him in.) 

Orann. If you put me back there I'll become a doll 
again. 

Liza. Well, what's the difference? (Draws curtains.) 

(Music grows louder. Enter the others marching in 
single file to tune of " There is a Tavern in Our 
Town," " College Songs," — Price, 60 cents. Each is 
playing some burlesque band instrument ; Jemima 
comes last beating bass drum. They sing.) 

THE NEW WOMEN 

There is a movement going round, going round, 

We've conquered every state and town, state and town, 

And every woman in the land 

Will soon be voting like a man ! 

Down with men, our war-cry ringing, 
"As we march let's all be singing, 
For the women they are bound to rule the world, 
The world! 



TWELVE OLD MAIDS 2() 

Then on to vict'ry, on to vic-to-ry, 

We'll trample down the men and we'll be free, 

To vote and be elected is our cry, 

The suffragettes will do or die. 

Mrs. B. (seeing Liza). And who is this young per- 
son? (Goes to her.) What can I do for you, young- 
lady? 

Liza. I ain't no young lady, I'm just Liza Pearl. 

All. Liza Pearl? 

Liza. Yes'm, improved by Everbloom. 

Madam. Then it was you who took my Everbloom? 

Liza. It was. You see I wanted to get first whack 
and I done got it. And what's more I've had a proposal 
of marriage. 

All. A proposal ? Why, Liza ! 

Lovetta (pushes her way to Madam). Give me two 
bottles of Everbloom and give it to me quick. 

Liza. Yes, from Mr. . (Insert name.) And 

I borrowed five dollars from him to pay for your Ever- 
bloom. Here's the money. (Gives it to Madam.) 

Mary Ann. Girls, fall in line. We've got a better 
plan than Everbloom. Company, attention! Forward, 
march ! 

(All march around stage in single file, Liza and 
Orann bringing up in the rear.) 

All (sing). 

We want a Lady president, president ! 
To rule the world is our intent, our intent. 
The lady police will run men in, 
The lady judge will take their tin. 

(Chorus as before. They march from stage down into 
the audience singing as they march down one aisle 
and up the other.) 

Then forward, sisters, to the fray, to the fray, 
We'll win our battle, yea or nay, yea or nay, 
The men will have to stay at home 
And wash the dishes while we roam. 



30 TWELVE OLD MAIDS 

Down with men ! our war-cry ringing, 

As we march let's all be singing, 

For the women they are bound to rule the world, 

The world! 
Then on to vict'ry, on to vic-to-ry, 
We'll trample down the men and we'll be free. 

To vote and be elected is our cry, 

The suffragettes will do or die! 

{March out at rear.) 



CURTAIN 



PETREL, THE STORM CHILD 

A Drama in Three Acts 

By Charles S. Bird 

Eight males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 

Plays two hours. Petrel Kingman, the adopted daughter of Jabez, a waif 

from the sea, finds in Bob Braxton, a visiting yachtsman, not only a 

husband but the means of ascertaining her real parentage and the recovery 

of her fortune. A strong, simple story with lots of incidental interest and 

humorous character. Another " Among the Breakers." 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 
Captain Stubbs, a retired skipper. 
Sim Freeman, the constable at ''Bay View" 
Lem Gale, a sad sea dog. 
Jabez Kingman, keeper of the village store. 
Bob Braxton, a young yachtsman. 
Harry James, Bob's chum. 
Ezra Green, always buttin in. 
Mr. Brief, a lazvyer. 

Petrel Kingman, daughter of Jabez, but known as Pet 
Amanda Libby, a spinster, but not willingly. 
Bessie Stubbs, the Captain s daughter* and Pel's friend. 
Mrs. Kingman, wife of Jabez. 
Cecile, a maid. 
Bay View Folks. 

The parts of Lem and Brief may be doubled. 

SAM BO-JAM AND HIS AFRICAN COLONY 

A Negro Farce in Three Scenes 
By Jay Clay Powers 
Fourteen males, nine females, all originally played by ladies. Cos- 
tumes, negro character and eccentric ; scenery, unimportant. Plays an 
hour with specialties. Sam Bo-Jam turns up at a Negro festivity in Texas 
with a scheme for colonizing Africa, and takes the whole party with him 
to the kingdom of Lukattiankilli where the affair resolves itself into a first 
class female minstrel show with many novel incidents. 
Price, 13 cents 

AT HOTEL-ON-DE-BLINK 

An Entertainment in Two Parts 
By George P. Seller 
Seven male, two female characters. Costumes, eccentric; scenery, a 
plain interior or none at all. Plays an hour and a half with specialties. 
A laughable sketch introducing a minstrel show. A complete programme 
is given but may be varied or expanded as much as desired. A decided 
novelty that can be recommended. 

Price, 15 cents 



THE SNOW IMAGE 

And Other Plays for Children Suitable for Stage 

or Schoolroom 

By E. Antoinette Luques 

These little plays are the work of an experienced teacher, the themes 
are well selected, treated with the skill, propriety and sympathy acquired 
through long and close experience with childhood, and are provided with 
full instructions not only for production on a regular stage but for adapta- 
tion to the conditions of the schoolroom. Strongly recommended. 
Price, 25 cents 

CONTENTS 
The Snow Image, 2 males, 4 females. The Spirit of Memorial Day, 4 males, 

Hiawatha's Childhood, 13 males, 5 females. 

14 females. The Story of the Poplar Tree, ? males 

15 females. 

TABLEAU AND PANTOMIME ENTERTAINMENTS 

For School or Public Performance 

By Clara E. Cooper, Bertha Currier Porter, 

Laura M. Parsons and others 

This collection comprises two new and four well-known and popular 
entertainments of the same class. The moving tableau is steadily gaining 
in appreciation over the old picture-tableau and this collection offers an 
excellent choice of such material. 

Price, 25 cents 

CONTENTS ___ 

In Sleighing Time, 4 males, % females, Living Pictures of the Civil War, 

reader and chorus. ad libitum. 

Choosing an Occupation, 6 males, 5 A. "Ward's Wax Figger Show, ad 

females and reader. libitum. 

Pictures in theFire,4w«/«, 4 females, Dramatized Readings, ad libitum. 

and supers 

GREEK COSTUME PLAYS 

For School, or Lawn Performance 
By M. Nataline Crumpton, Mrs. Mary L. Gaddess, and others 

An assemblage of popular entertainments mostly on classical subjects 
and calling for Greek dresses. All have been popular as independenl 
publications, in which form many are still in print. The following list of 
titles will amply suggest the nature of the themes. 
Price, 25 cents 

CONTENTS 
Antigone. By Sophocles. 5 males, Theseus. By M. Nataline Crumpton, 

3 females. 7 males, 7 females and supers. 
Ceres. By M. Nataline Crumpton. The Ivy Queen. By Mrs. Mary I* 

2 males, 12 females. Gaddess. Ad libitum. 

The Convention of the Muses. By The Revels of the Queen of May 

Ella Skinner Bates. 9 females. and Her Fairies. By Mrs. Mary 

Pandora. By M. Nataline Crumpton. \j. Gaddess. 1 boy, 45 girls. 

4 males 3 3 females. 



JL W. Pinero's Plays 

Price, SO Cetite Eacb 



IVIIH fHANNFI Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. 
lllli/"\#ilillil!filj Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH ££• SffiK 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 



females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
•laborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE QPUnni MIQTP17QQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
IflEi O^nUULlTllO 1 IVE.OO seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY %&**&?%; 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 



four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF THITWnFRRm T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
lrlEi inunULIVDULl nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIMF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
I n.Ei 1 HYlEiij Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

TUP WF A KTD QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
inti VYfj/\lYEiI\ OLmA. eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE Females, four females! 
Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 

Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter £. Pafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 




Cf)e 2£tlltam barren €aition 
of Paps 

l&rtce, 15 €tnt$ €ad> 



AS Yflfl I IKV IT Comed y in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AD lVU LflALf It females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 



tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 



Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MAW STIIAffT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males^ four fe- 
1UAI\1 «J 1UAH1 males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE £3S?&3£ft2: &££=: 

picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

RICHFT IFII Pl a y * n Pi ye Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
IMvlllylvlLrU er y elaborate ; costumes of the period. - Plays a full 
evening. 

THF RIVAT S Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 ilh HI T ALiD Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a - 
full evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER SSSXiS^^JS^ 

ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL SSf^JSS 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter $♦ !3after & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



•. J. PARKHILL a CO.. PRINTERS. BOSTON. U.«.A. 



